Supervision Relation


While your Supervisor has the ability to throw you into great inner turmoil and make you feel remarkably inferior (similar to one’s Conflictor), and your Supervisee can seem surprisingly helpless (similar to one’s Beneficiary), this relation commonly has a strange allure to it regardless. It is assumed that the greatest factors contributing to this effect (besides mutual physical attraction etc.) are the matching Cognitive styles in combination with partly shared IEs, as well as the matching of an introvert with an extrovert. There is an expectation of being able to grow in this relation, though such efforts usually prove to be futile.

Often times the Supervisor initiates the contact (even if they are the introvert, though the extroverted Supervisee might initiate if their Supervisor is very introverted, aka has a strong Inert subtype in addition to being an introvert). Depending on how familiar the people are with each other’s types, the beginning of the relation will be full of “power struggles“ right from the start (when people are unaccustomed to the other’s type), or those struggles and disagreements will surface later on once the initial psychological distance has been decreased more. Generally, this relation is characterized by moments of getting along acceptably, in certain cases even rather smoothly (particularly with matching subtypes, aka Contact and Inert being the same IE, e.g. SLE-Se with ESI-Se), though those moments will be periodically disrupted by emotionally intense fights and “power struggles“ as already mentioned. The Supervisor naturally has the power – given they are the master at their Leading function, which is the Vulnerable function of their Supervisee. The Supervisee cannot help but feel respect towards their Supervisor because of their Supervisor’s (functional) “superiority”, though this impression is tainted by the Supervisee’s wariness and disdain for their Vulnerable function. One’s Supervisor can appear to be like one’s twisted ideal, similar to one’s Benefactor, but in comparison to Benefit there is much more anxiety and frustration attached to this feeling. Those negative emotions and the stress accumulated by having their Vulnerable spot constantly being ”stirred“ or “hit“, the Supervisee will occasionally “lash out“, defend themselves against what they perceive as a threat to their being – essentially trying to regain ”their power”. To the Supervisee, those abrupt negative reactions can be rather perplexing, given they themselves do not experience mirroring discomfort pertaining to their Vulnerable function at all. The Supervisor tends to disregard the Supervisee’s “overblown“ reactions, or they will be merely surprised and try to calm down the Supervisee superficially.

From the Supervisor’s perspective, the only real annoyance in the relation is their Supervisee’s occupation with their Creative function – especially when the subtypes are mismatched, many fights will revolve around the Supervisor being negligent of their Role function, which the Supervisee occasionally seems to “push“ unto them, trying to paradoxically ”teach” their Supervisor (and by that reversing the “flow“), seeing that this is their Supervisor’s (seemingly) only weakness. In addition, the opposite temperaments can occasionally create a sense of awkwardness, though this fact is often overlooked by both people. (The same applies to Mirror relations.)

Supervision relationships greatly benefit from a compassionate, tender-hearted Supervisor who is willing to take their Supervisee “under their wing“, and overlooks the Supervisee’s shortcomings as best as possible, refraining from continually ”correcting“ them by employing their Leading function, and instead simply takes on whatever burden the Supervisee experiences with issues regarding that particular IE in their day-to-day life. It has been said that one’s Supervisor can potentially act as one’s Guardian Angel, and that is true – if the type permits it. Types like IEI and SEI will have a greater capacity of having such tender considerate feelings, while 4D Te + 1D Fi (=ExTx) types tend to make rather “blind“ Supervisors who are (consciously or not) ignorant of attending to/lessening the Supervisee’s emotional “suffering“.

It has been proposed before that Supervision is worse than Conflict, mainly because the psychological distance is closer and the Supervisee has less power to actually ”fight back” by ”hitting” their Supervisor’s weak spots. This is not entirely untrue, though those very circumstances can paradoxically make Supervision a better relation. The closer psychological distance makes both partners more ”warm” and understanding towards one another. This effect is strengthened by strong matching subtypes. Conversations can be fruitful and stimulating, as long as certain personal boundaries are not being crossed. Emotionally, Supervision partners may experience a sense of deeper kinship, despite all the hurtful power struggles surrounding their love. The stronger the love and the matching subtypes, the more both people will have the impression that the periodic fights and unsettling disagreements are not emanating from the clashing of their personalities, but are rather an outside obstacle cast upon them, one they have to overcome together, and that each resolution will bring them closer. Even though this view is distorted, its idealistic nature will keep the couple together. Otherwise, most Supervision couples have little chance of persisting, especially in a culture that looks down on fights and is quick to favour dissolving troublesome relationships for the possibility of a “better deal“.

Personally, I would not advise anyone to enter a Supervision romantic relationship due to the issues described above, though I can recognize that Supervision relations with strong matching subtypes have the possibility of being more enduring and enriching than other, less psychologically unsettling relations like Quasi-Identity or Extinguishment.

(Supervisor > Supervisee)

Stars:½ out of 5. (With matching subtypes: ★★ out of 5.)

Note: For a long-term romantic relationship, at least ★★★ stars are recommended. 

Click here for examples of intertype relation matches.

One comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s