The Best Romantic Match for Male INTJs


Male INTJs tend to look for an equal; not necessarily in terms of logical capabilities, but in overall temperament.

Most MBTI sites recommend ENFPs or even ENTPs for INTJs.

While ENFPs are a fairly good match for INTJs, ENTPs are surprisingly ill-suited to them! The main reason being, that ENTPs and INTJs have none of the same functions in common, which on a closer level creates more discord and issues than harmony. And ENFPs only have half of the same functions in common.

The true, quite underestimated dream partner for most INTJ men is an ISFP.

But how so? Here are the key factors.

  • Both share the same functions. INTJs and ISFPs both share Introverted Intuition, Extroverted Sensing, Introverted Feeling, and Extroverted Thinking. This creates a common ground, from which they judge and perceive the world. They both agree on what overall matters when it comes to interacting and analyzing the world, and how to act in and prioritize aspects in a romantic relationship.
  • Male Thinker with a Feeling type. Thinkers in general, but especially the men are typically the most drawn to Feeling types, who can maintain and regulate the emotional intimacy within a relationship the best. An INTJ male may be initially interested in dating a fellow Thinker, with whom he could connect well on an intellectual basis, but more often than not, he will be drawn to the emotionality of a Feeler when he searches for love, guided by his tertiary Introverted Feeling.
  • Male Introvert with an Introvert. According to Marti Laney PsyD MFT, (heterosexual) introverted men do the best with fellow introverted partners; and her research has concluded that relationships between two introverts reported the most relationship satisfaction. I would not suggest that double Introvert matches are the most ideal for all introverts, though it seems like for INTJ men, it is indeed best if their partner is a fellow introvert. (More on that below.)
  • Low-Maintenance: ISFPs tend to be more low-maintenance when it comes to sharing the same space with someone (being fellow introverts), which complements the INTJ’s tendency to withdraw when dealing with intellectual subject matters or other issues. ExFx individuals could be too difficult to “tame” in general – e.g. due to emotional outbursts, the need for a lot of social interactions etc., which could be a major stressor for an INTJ male.
  • Closer Intuitive/Mental Connection: INTJ men can find themselves being attracted to ExFx people, but more often than not they find they lack a certain depth of understanding. The ISFP’s tertiary Introverted Intuition, coupled with the other shared functions, provides more of a shared intuitive mind connection. INTJ men do require a fair amount of intellectual connection, and besides a fellow INTJ or ENTJ, the best kind will be with an ISFP. ESFPs, especially the women, tend to be less “intellectual” and more surface-based, which can be attractive, but in combination with their typically strong need for being “tamed”, many INTJ men find ESFPs too troubling to commit to for the long-term.

At last, you may wonder:

But what about the N-S and P-J mismatching? 

Truth: N-S and J-P “mismatching” is not an issue, and can actually be complementary as long as both types share the same functions.

Other good matches for INTJ men: INTJ, ESFP (when mature), ENTJ (when “ambiverted”)ENFP (when both are “ambiverted”) 

What are your thoughts on or experiences with INTJ-ISFP relationships? Tell us in the comments. 🙂


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  1. As an individual INTJ- Ni , I’ve always thought that my best match would be the other ” prophet like type ” ( the beloved INFJs ) ; because being understood is very essential in my opinion , and for another reasons why I thought they are which forgive me I’m not going to mention , personally I have never thought of a Sensing type as my partner ultimately.

    However ; I remember that in one day being with my best friend who also happen to be an INTJ- Te , he told me : imagine that the true manifestation for your own desires is the ISFP , I was like what 😒 .
    Now after reading this article that you stated in ” ISFPs are the dream partners for my type ” I’m starting to be convinced. So if I ever met my dream partner and surprisingly happen to be an ISFP , I will remember that there was a hardworking , Intelligent , typology related topics writer , who wrote something about it how should I thank her 🤔.
    Plus the second closest friend of mine is ISFP – Fi , and he is very very very loyal to me .

    Now , to return your favor – which is helping me with finding out my perfect partner – , may I offer you a suggestion about your potential partner : my brothers the ENTJ , have you ever thought that your partner might be one of them , because I see that they almost possess all the characteristics and traits that you require – as I read – I don’t know about your personal life and what experiences and factors that shaped you and affected you adjusting and changing your own desires , but generally I do think they are a better for you than your duals the – ESTPs ( ugh 😤 , oh God almighty ) , and it’s up to you in the end , and you are wise enough to decide .
    Finally : I wish that you find this lucky dream guy that you have been dreaming about – no matter what type he is – even if he happens to be an ESTJ 😛 ( every thing is possible , hhhhhha ) – in the nearest future ) 🙏🏻.

    P.s : I don’t hate ESTPs , I just don’t trust them that’s merely it .


    • Hey, nice to see you enjoyed my article and find the recommendation useful. 🙂

      Your brother is probably a good guy, but generally I don’t think ENTJs would be a perfect match for me, for a couple of reasons. Besides, I’m already happy with my ISTP boyfriend. 🙂


  2. You were right about my brother he is quite a respectful , honorable person , but how did you know that may I ask ?!

    And I just wanted to say that you deserve all what is good , you are such a wonderful person , and you cannot imagine how much I’m happy for you once I knew that you have finally found the guy .

    Wish you both blesses and the very best from all my heart , and at your service at any time , I’ll keep in touch following your work .

    Danke miss Mylia Noir 🙏🏻~


  3. Hmm Intriguing … You might be right

    ISFP is better matched than ENFPs or even ENTPs.

    So you are saying dominant function should be matched even if her’s inferior? What if the auxiliary matches ?


  4. Intj 548 tritype male with Infj female and it’s the best relationship. IDK any Isfp women so I can’t comment on that. Funny you mentioned Esfp. My best friend was Esfp, and though we had a lot of fun doing extroverted things, his life was far to chaotic for me and I cut ties, as intj commonly do.. Great sites you have, Olimpia 🙂


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