This is the truth few people realize in time or ever become conscious of:
That their second instinct is their Secret Weapon, their Catalyst for Life Change.
Your Dominant Instinct is your Greatest Desire – and your Greatest Fear is driven by it.
You feel like your Fear “protects” your Desire and your survival, but it only keeps you stuck.
SX (Sexual instinct) first people are the most afraid of being unlovable/unloved by a romantic partner.
In the unhealthy grip of this fear, they act in ways that ironically perpetuate it and keep them stuck, by pushing others away from them, being unable to settle down (“grass is always greener syndrome”), rejecting possibly good love prospects, being overly clingy and desperate resulting in their loved one(s) or potential love interests drawing back, pursuing unavailable individuals, etc.
SO (Social instinct) first people are the most afraid of being alone/cast out by others.
In the unhealthy grip of this fear, they act in ways that ironically perpetuate it and keep them stuck, by pushing others away from them, becoming antisocial and looking down on society at large, ending or ruining friendships, gossiping, being overly clingy and desperate resulting in others drawing back, isolating themselves, etc.
SP (Self-preservation instinct) first people are the most afraid of being unsustained.
In the unhealthy grip of this fear, they act in ways that ironically perpetuate it and keep them stuck, by being neglectful of or overly obsessed with their health and/or exercise routine, gambling, engaging in substance abuse, starving or overfeeding themselves, engaging in life-threatening activities, etc.
The average person will relate the most to the Fear and resulting coping behaviour of their Dominant Instinct. But the more unhealthy the individual is/becomes, the more they will be able to relate to all mentioned Fears and coping behaviours. At this point, they are in dire need of therapy and/or similar help.
Whatever your instinctual stacking and (dominant) Fear(s), your second instinct can be your salvation.
Even if you are extremely unhealthy and/or repressed and feel like no instinct of yours is “strong”, over time and with some stabilizing of your mood and so forth, your second instinct can emerge as an asset. Make use of it! Engaging in your Second Instinct can set a truly liberating process in motion.
You must know that your Dominant Instinct is not only your Greatest Desire and Fear, but also the instinct that will plunge you into the deepest despair and unhealthy levels when it is unfulfilled or “goes wrong”. Hence it is of vital importance for the First instinct to be supported by the instinct with the least amount of Fear(s) surrounding it – which is your second instinct.
There is only one way how the Growth Process is being activated and you can find the happiness your First instinct is looking for:
Your Second Instinct, the Catalyst, must be put into practice and used in favour of the Dominant Instinct.
Most average individuals will be able to do so without too many hang-ups or hesitance. For those who are more unhealthy, this may prove to be a bit more challenging.
For instance, individuals who are insecurely attached and SX second may find it difficult to start from their second instinct right away, because it is to some extent blocked by their insecure attachment style. Or an SP second person may happen to be poor, which is another way the SP second instinct can be blocked. Or an SO second person may happen to be ashamed or shy for whatever reason. While the Last instinct is considerably weak and undervalued, it may be easier for those people to focus on that one first and then develop more confidence with their second instinct with its influence.
For you to implement your Catalyst instinct, this is what you would have to do in order for it to induce change:
… should focus on bringing intensity and passion into whatever they do, creating valuable and inspired content, establishing closeness and intimacy with people and by doing so creating long-lasting bonds with them.
…should focus on networking effectively, creating social connections, engaging in group activities, hanging out with friends regularly, raising their social status.
… should focus on reaching financial independence and security, organizing their resources, caring for their physical health and well-being, practicing self-care.
Letting your Catalyst shine can put everything else into motion:
SX/SO people will suddenly find their ideal mate amongst their many friends and social connections, SX/SP people will suddenly attract the love of their life by emanating their self-love and self-care, SP/SO people will finally find security through the support of their social connections, SP/SX people will finally find security by building a life together with a significant other, SO/SX will finally have the social network they have been dreaming of by moving individuals deeply, SO/SP will finally gain the social recognition and rank they have been seeking after through all their hard work and self-discipline.
But the Growth process does not stop there – your Catalyst will also help you with your Last Instinct.
Once the First instinct is in full bloom, it is as if your Last instinct’s worries have disappeared completely, or engaging in it has become miraculously effortless.
In short, a healthy and fulfilled First instinct almost always enables us to grow in our Blindspot as well!
For example, a healthy SO blindspot person will move out into the world and share their passions with other people. One SX/SP person reported how before they met their wife, they’ve never left their home town. But by now the two have been travelling all over the world together, exploring new cultures and so forth. Essentially, the SO blindspot person “gets out of their shell”, without even actively trying. Healthy SX blindspot people will find lasting love at last, something that has never been really on their radar and/or they used to never truly commit to anyone before. Healthy SP blindspot people will be physically fit, and gain financial independence and perhaps even become rich due to other people paying them for their selfless contributions.
As you can see, once your Catalyst has been activated, the cycle of Growth will transport you to higher and higher levels of health and freedom.
Needless to say, I recommend you to use your Second Instinct, the Catalyst, especially if you struggle too much with your first instinct at the moment. Unexpectedly, this can become the path towards your Happiness.